No one wants to admit they have anger issues – especially if they really do. But, maybe that’s the problem. Maybe it’s our inability to be open with ourselves and others that causes us more problems than necessary.
What do you think?
If we have a problem with anger, would admitting it help us to find a solution?
Here’s a guest post written by Ken Thompson, that goes a bit deeper into this subject…
3 Critical First Steps To Anger Control
Anger problems are like a hidden storm buried within the mind. Sometimes they seem to have a will of their own. I know this from decades of personal experience with my own anger.
If you are feeling that you may have a problem, then it’s likely you do. This article will focus on the initial steps to dealing with anger problems. I believe some people, perhaps many, feel they have this problem but do not know where to begin, or what to do.
Step #1 – An open mind to the possibility:
You must have an open mind to the possibility of having anger issues and having difficulty with controlling anger. This is where it will all begin, or end.
External events and people around you can make you wonder if you have anger issues. Your own observations and self-assessment can provide strong clues, as well.
Anger that causes problems is also an easy subject to conveniently ignore because there is no sense of urgency. It usually is not something requiring our immediate attention.
Our minds are so clever in that it can weave a web of self-deceit with little to no encouragement. So we can easily engage the wheels and begin telling ourselves it doesn’t happen much. It really isn’t that bad. Other people are over-reacting. On and on…
But I sincerely believe few people really and completely fool themselves.
Step #2 – Honest and objective look at your self:
If you have an open mind to the possibility, then step 2 will be easier to do and you will make greater gains. This step is difficult for most people regardless of the reason for doing it.
That’s one reason why anger management counseling can be effective because the counselor, or therapist, can provide a higher degree of objectivity. Of course the caveat is the therapist is working with the information given by the client.
But all is not lost here, and there is another avenue to increase our own levels of objectivity.
Take advantage of the feedback offered by the people around you. It may help if you can strip away any negativity or drama and distill the most important information being given to you.
One good clue for you is how often the same theme occurs in the feedback given to you. Do you often hear that you have anger issues? Do you hear that you have difficulties controlling anger?
I suggest you make positive use of this information and try to avoid becoming defensive, insulted, or otherwise feeling negative about it. It is information that can help you.
Step #3 – Admitting the problem exists and needs to be addressed:
It is important to realize this is a delicate process. You can think of it as your own personal evolution. A quest for healing and other positive qualities in your life.
At this point you have demonstrated an openness of mind about your anger. You have begun to objectively and sincerely reflect on your behavior and thinking patterns. This is much like any process of discovery in which the initial periods are devoted to gathering information.
How does your own information appear to you?
Nothing will concretely happen, or change, unless you openly admit to having an anger problem. Hey, it’s ok if you suffer from chronic anger, angry outbursts when certain triggers occur, or an inability to constructively cope with life’s frustrations. It does not mean you are a bad person, and there is no reason to feel ashamed.
Sometimes you just have to say, “It is what it is.” So if a problem exists, then the next step is to find a solution that you feel may be right for you and implement it.
I heartily recommend you spend some time with what you’ve read, today.
Reading this does not take long at all, but it is merely the tip of an iceberg.