In order to master anger management, you’ll need to gain control of how you react to your emotions. It takes getting into a mindset that allows you to think before you act or speak.

If you don’t take the time to learn how to control your reactions to anger, you may destroy the relationships around you and cause physical and emotional harm to everyone, including yourself.

With that said… congratulations for taking a step in the right direction, by reading these techniques.

Before we begin, let’s talk a little about this thing we call anger…

Anger serves an important purpose. Anger is an emotion that tells us that something is wrong. It may even help us to get out of dangerous situations, but sometimes the threats are just perceived and anger is not an appropriate emotion.

Anger itself is not the main problem here though. It may help you to try to feel less angry in some situations, but for the most part your goal should be to learn how to express yourself in a healthier way.

Here are 7 things you can do to control your anger:

#1 - Don’t React

Think about the situations that have gotten you into trouble in the past. You likely immediately reacted to the problem at hand with angry emotions.

Whenever you’re presented with a stressful situation, it’s important to withhold rash reactions. Think about what’s really going on, and then decide how you really feel about everything.

#2 – Take Time To Cool Off

You’re not always in a situation where you can take as long as you want without a reaction. If you’re feeling extremely angry, make sure you take a few moments of cool down time.

Before you react, try counting to ten in order to give yourself at least a moment to get into the right mindset.

#3 – Don’t Worry About Other People.

Sometimes you feel terrible about other people’s opinions of you.

When you get caught up in making everyone else happy, you end up forgetting about yourself. This is how your emotions can take control, but you can only ignore yourself for so long, right?

#4 – Start Exercising

A daily exercise routine can help you to release energy and emotions. If anger arises, you can also go out for a walk or play some sports as an outlet for that anger.

#5 – Don’t Hold Grudges

A grudge only hurts you in the long run. Learn the art of forgiving and forgetting. This will bring peace to you and the person you’re holding a grudge against.

#6 – Practice Relaxation

Anger arises more often if you’re tense and stressed. Study different relaxation techniques that will help you to unwind.

Some of these techniques include:

• Yoga
• Meditation
• Taking a Bath
• Deep Breathing
• Listening to Music
• Journaling

#7 – Learn Healthy Anger Expression

The trick is not to completely ignore your anger, but to express it in a healthy manner. After you have taken some cool down time, consider your words and in a calm way, communicate why you’re feeling angry.

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Mistake #1 – React without thinking

Reacting on impulse is not always a good thing… especially when you’re angry. It usually results in you saying, or even doing, something you later regret. In some cases it can even lead to violence. A better option would be to pause and give some thought to what to say or do the next time you’re angry.

Mistake #2 – Stick around too long

When a person sticks around instead of walking away, they’re inviting more problems than it’s worth. For example let’s say you’re angry because another person disagrees with you, and an argument begins. Happens all the time, right?

Well, the person with anger problems’ way of dealing with anger is continuing to try and prove their point. Which only makes them angrier because the other person still disagrees – this usually results in escalating problems… such as shouting, pushing, or worse. Instead, this would be a perfect opportunity to walk away from the situation, and clear your thoughts.

Mistake #3 – Dwell on things

People with anger problems can have the tendency to dwell on the things that made them angry, for extended lengths of time. Thinking about old events that initiated anger, only invites more anger.

In essence, just the ‘thought’ of being angry can get you angry again. So, instead of dwelling on how someone hurt you, or why something happened, one thing you can do is start focusing on how you feel ‘right now’. Then think about things that make you feel better… and move on.

So, now you know that dealing with anger by reacting without thinking, not walking away, and dwelling on things are mistakes that people with anger problems make. Now avoid those mistakes the next time you’re angry, so things don’t get out of hand.

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Do these anger symptoms describe you or someone you know?

1. You Get Angry Often

If you get angry frequently, there’s a good chance you may have some issues related to anger that need to be dealt with. When this happens one of the best things to do is give yourself time away from the things that are making you angry.

2. You’re Always Defensive

Are you always getting defensive about something? Things like your work, your looks, your weight, how you talk, or anything else? Getting defensive and angry over things that make you defensive, is a sign you should evaluate things before reading too much into them. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself getting angry over things that probably were taken out of context.

3. Any Little Thing Gets You Mad

Do the smallest things set you off? You know things like: getting stuck in traffic, your morning coffee is cold, or you get ketchup on your new shirt. There are worse things in life than spilling something on your shirt… although it can be annoying, it really doesn’t justify the amount of anger, or attention, that it gets.

4. You Get Aggressive

Becoming aggressive when you’re angry is one of the worst things you can do. It can be a marker of just how “out of control” your anger is. If you get aggressive when you get angry, even for small things, then you’re endangering not only yourself, but those around you.

Recognizing anger problem symptoms is the first step in taking charge of your anger, before it starts affecting your life and relationships.

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• 7 Symptoms of Anger Problems – How to Know If You Have a Problem With Anger?

Not all anger management class programs are the same. Like anything on the internet, consumers must be aware that programs vary in quality, acceptance, and effectiveness. Distance learning programs also vary greatly in their sophistication. For example, an organization might refer to their program as “online” simply because they have a website when in fact their program is simply a book that you order or a PDF that is downloaded. This is not an online class, but rather a product purchased over the internet that must either be printed or shipped in printed form.

Here is a simple checklist of items to make sure of before starting an online anger management class:

* How long has the agency been offering their course? What kind of training qualifies them to offer the course? Did they just launch a website, but have no history of actually offering or teaching anger management?

* What credentials or qualifications does the course provider have? I found one class that actually had a videographer as the owner. I found another that had no credentials at all. Consumer must be careful!

* Can a judge, probation officer or attorney contact the agency to verify credentials? Is there a qualified person that can accept phone calls and provide documentation?

* What curriculum is being used? Does it have any approvals? What is really being taught? Is there any substance to the course?

* Does the course include skills in empathy and emotional intelligence, forgiveness, stress management, assertive communication, expectation management, improving judgment and impulse control, and learning to respond instead of react?

* Is the course really “online” or is it just a bunch of downloads, printed materials that are mailed, or home made videos?

* Online means that everything is delivered online, with interaction with a qualified instructor.

* Do they have a refund policy if their program isn’t accepted? Distance learning programs are new, and not every judge in every court throughout the country is going to understand them.

* If something seems too good to be true, it probably isn’t. A quality program is going to cost more for a reason, because it’s legitimate.

Anger management skills can be learned in a variety of educational settings. For some, an online format best suits a busy schedule, for others a live program might be a better match. Either way, make sure the program you choose measures up.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University’s Graduate School of Education and Psychology. His corporate website is http://www.ajnovickgroup.com and his innovative online anger management class is available at http://www.angerclassonline.com.

For a list of anger management classes in your area, check out the listings over at: http://localangermanagementclasses.angerdefense.com

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• Local Anger Management Classes Directory

What makes a quality anger management program and what can a client expect to learn? Anger management classes are designed to teach skills in a variety of areas to improve interpersonal and internal functioning. Anger management is not the same as psychotherapy and should not be confused with getting “therapy”. Anger management classes are educational in nature and should teach skills in 8 core areas. These areas of skill enhancement include:

* Stress management

* Empathy Development

* Learning to respond instead of react

* Improving self-talk

* Assertive Communication

* Expectation Management

* Forgiveness

* Retreat and think things over

Participants of a quality anger management program should expect to use a well known curriculum. The program should be well structured and teach a new skill during each class. Sessions should be separated with cognitive homework assignments to help reinforce the material and progress should be discussed at the onset of the each subsequent class session.

Another popular question is “will the classes work”? Ultimately, ones motivation to succeed is the biggest determinant in the success outcome of any class or program. Without motivation the desire to succeed is severely limited. Keeping this in mind, clients who are willing to learn and motivated to grow tend to have the best outcome. While motivation is not the only factor for success, it is certainly the most influential. Another important component is utilizing a program that has some empirical data to back up the interventions used. Programs that incorporate cognitive behaviorally based concepts tend to have more empirical data to support their effectiveness than programs that do not.

Clients should enjoy the learning experience. We believe that humor is one of the most important approaches an instructor must use. It’s not to say make fun of the work you are doing, but rather make the work fun for the client. Anger management should not, and is not punitive. The term itself often comes with a stigma that says “I’m bad, and therefore must take a class with a bunch of other bad and angry people”. This could not be farther from the truth. Anger management could be and should be considered more of a life skill class that anyone will benefit from.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University’s Graduate School of Education and Psychology. His corporate website is http://www.ajnovickgroup.com and his innovative online anger management class is available at http://www.angerclassonline.com

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• Promoting a Healthier You: How to Deal with Anger
• How To Deal With Anger and Get a Good Laugh…
• Anger Management – How Anger Can Be a Good Thing
• The Do’s and Don’ts For Dealing With An Angry Wife or Spouse

Not particularly sure of the reason for this. Perhaps there’s a lack of people actually searching for anger classes, or maybe not.

In any case, with more and more people turning to the internet to research things, it would seem like there would be more directories for a subject such as anger management classes.

Well, with that said, there’s a new section here on AngerDefense.com that will list anger classes in the US, Canada, and abroad. For lack of a clever name, it’s called: Local Anger Management Classes.

Hopefully it will help anyone who’s in need of locating an anger class near them. For example, if you’re in new jersey, there’s a list of anger management courses in nj at: http://localangermanagementclasses.angerdefense.com

Hope this helps anyone looking for classes.

Take a Look at These Other Articles:

• Anger Management – How Anger Can Be a Good Thing
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• 8 Things To Know About Taking Anger Management Classes

Anne Wolski has an interesting take on anger, which she describes in her article:

The Anatomy of Anger

Why is it that anger takes so much of our emotional strength and leaves us feeling that we have achieved nothing as a result of it? Of course, there are times that our anger has a positive effect when it drives us to positive change.

This is because anger can be constructive or destructive. If you are angry at something or someone, it is destructive and negative. However, if your anger is for something, it is constructive and positive.

Destructive anger saps our energy and destroys relationships. It takes away our happiness and, if left unchecked, can leave us sinking into depression and depressive habits such as alcohol and drug abuse, or violence. How many people incarcerated in our prisons are there as a result of destructive anger that they have failed to bring under control?

Constructive anger, on the other hand, is one born of passion. It is anger for something such as an issue or a situation that is perceived to be unfair. Look at those who have fought for changes in civil rights and other issues over the years. Their anger over the situation motivated them to fight for change. They see a situation of social injustice, poverty, racial, or other inequalities and they direct their constructive anger rather than allowing their anger to consume them.

The important thing is to question your anger. Are you angry at something or angry for something?

There are physical signs that identify the anger as well. When it is destructive anger, your body tenses up and you feel like you may explode. However, constructive anger makes you feel that you are being driven by an inner force.

Identifying the type of anger helps you to make the right decision. You need to resolve the destructive anger or express the constructive anger and take proper steps to changing the injustice that this positive anger is aimed toward.

Unfortunately, the greater majority of a person’s anger is of the destructive type. Actually, this makes it easier to eliminate as you come to a proper understanding of it. To overcome this anger, you must identify what is causing it and learn how to nip it in the bud before it becomes all-consuming.

One thing that people need to do is to listen properly. By this, I don’t only mean hearing the spoken word but identifying the meaning behind those words. How many times have you or someone you know become angry because of a ‘misunderstanding’?

This is common because of our tendency to hear words literally. Sometimes our interpretation of another’s words can depend on our mood. For instance, if a person is feeling a little irritable, they may interpret words negatively regardless of their meaning. This may quickly lead to confrontation.

Only you are accountable for your reactions to what others say and your interpretation of what they mean so you yourself choose whether to make it confrontational or seek clarification. Think about it the next time you let negative anger try to invade your state of mind.

About the author: Anne Wolski is a woman who has worked primarily within health and welfare for around 35 years. However, since she was only a child, she has loved to research and write on a wide variety of interests. Feel free to visit Anne’s website at http://ozespirit.allinonehealth.com

[Anger Management Tip: Learning to control your anger is not complicated once you know a few basic principles. The good news is, it's way easier than burying all your anger deep down inside and not letting it out. For targeted techniques and suggestions on controlling your reactions to anger, pick up a copy of "Anger Management: What To Do When Anger Becomes a Problem". You'll discover a rock-solid blueprint for creating healthy responses to anger. Learn more here.]

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Laura Doerflinger, a licensed mental health counselor, is the Executive Director of the Parent Education Group at http://www.familyauthority.com and the author of the audio book, Emotionally Balanced Parenting.

Copyright 2008 Parent Education Group

[Ed. Note: Teaching a child anger management doesn't have to be hard. You can get expert advice, as well as useful suggestions while learning: how important anger management is for children, what causes anger in your child, what the main parts of anger are, and more by signing up for the FREE report, "11 Child Anger Management Tips You Can Use Today!" Get all the details in a step-by-step guide to teaching your child anger management right here.]

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Hold your tongue

A good skill to pick up would be learning how to control what comes out of your mouth in the heat of the moment. In other words, learn not to say things that you might later regret. Most of us have a hard time with that one thing.

Case in point, while we’re in the middle of an argument, we might say something that we know will hurt the other person, even if we don’t really mean it at the time.

Since walking out in the middle of an argument is not always an option, the best thing you could do is to do some damage control. In this case, try keeping your thoughts to yourself.

Yes, you’re angry, and yes, you’re probably feeling a lot of things like resentment, frustration, and the need to avenge yourself among other things, but this does not mean that you need to voice every thought, especially if they are not thoughts you would normally voice out loud.

If keeping your thoughts to yourself is too hard for you, and you feel the need to say what’s on your mind, then the next thing you might want to try is getting your thoughts together so that you’re more aware of what you’re doing and saying.

In other words, you’d want to stick to the topic, and keep as much of the angry words out of the conversation – this way you’re not as tempted to say anything hurtful.

As with anything that we don’t do on a regular basis, this anger management tip is easier said than done… but if you start practicing being more aware of what you say in the middle of an argument, you’ll have a better shot at not saying something you’ll regret later. Which in most cases, will keep the argument from becoming worse than it is.

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Most people don’t get to this stage. Instead, they just react on their anger, or whatever caused it… which usually results in actions they later regret.

Practice asking yourself these questions when you’re either angry – or better yet – when you’re about to become angry, and you’ll have a better shot of controlling your reaction to anger.

1. Are you taking time to think things over before you get angry, or are you jumping the gun and letting your anger get out of control? If this sounds like you, then you should walk away from the situation. This is a good way to get some time to breath before emotions escalate.

2. What is making you mad? Is it directly aimed at you, or was it something that you’ve grabbed onto and decided to get mad over? Think about it… do you really want to get mad over something trivial, when there are more important things in your life?

3. Are you are holding onto past events, and letting your frustrations out on things that are not even related? If so, you could be setting yourself up for bigger issues. Learn to let go of things and move on.

If someone made you angry or is directing their anger towards you, learn how to control your anger by asking yourself the following questions:

4. Is there more to this story that I don’t know about? Maybe the person provoking you is acting on misinformation. Or, maybe it really doesn’t have anything to do with you personally.

5. That brings up another question to ask yourself. If you’re not the target of their comments or their actions, then why are you getting angry over it?

Or maybe you are the focus of someone’s comments or actions. When you start to get angry, ask yourself this: Did you do something to provoke them? Why are you “letting” someone else push your buttons in the first place?

Keep in mind, there are always two sides to every story. Since you are naturally biased to see things from your own perspective, you should listen and think about things before they get out of hand.

As you can see these are all valid questions that you should be asking yourself when you know that you are starting to get angry. The first step to learning how to control your anger successfully is recognizing the things that trigger you to get mad, before it’s too late.

What are the typical things you might encounter that trigger angry emotions?

To learn more about anger triggers, and improve your odds of controlling your reactions to anger before it controls you, take a look at: How To Deal With Anger

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• Thanks for visiting the Angerdefense Blog…