One of the main aspects of learning how to control your anger is recognizing when you’re getting angry, in the first place. Once you recognize that you are on the verge of blowing up, then you can choose how you want to react.
Most people don’t get to this stage. Instead, they just react on their anger, or whatever caused it… which usually results in actions they later regret.
Practice asking yourself these questions when you’re either angry – or better yet – when you’re about to become angry, and you’ll have a better shot of controlling your reaction to anger.
1. Are you taking time to think things over before you get angry, or are you jumping the gun and letting your anger get out of control? If this sounds like you, then you should walk away from the situation. This is a good way to get some time to breath before emotions escalate.
2. What is making you mad? Is it directly aimed at you, or was it something that you’ve grabbed onto and decided to get mad over? Think about it… do you really want to get mad over something trivial, when there are more important things in your life?
3. Are you are holding onto past events, and letting your frustrations out on things that are not even related? If so, you could be setting yourself up for bigger issues. Learn to let go of things and move on.
If someone made you angry or is directing their anger towards you, learn how to control your anger by asking yourself the following questions:
4. Is there more to this story that I don’t know about? Maybe the person provoking you is acting on misinformation. Or, maybe it really doesn’t have anything to do with you personally.
5. That brings up another question to ask yourself. If you’re not the target of their comments or their actions, then why are you getting angry over it?
Or maybe you are the focus of someone’s comments or actions. When you start to get angry, ask yourself this: Did you do something to provoke them? Why are you “letting” someone else push your buttons in the first place?
Keep in mind, there are always two sides to every story. Since you are naturally biased to see things from your own perspective, you should listen and think about things before they get out of hand.
As you can see these are all valid questions that you should be asking yourself when you know that you are starting to get angry. The first step to learning how to control your anger successfully is recognizing the things that trigger you to get mad, before it’s too late.