How to Deal With an Angry Spouse That Yells At You

If you need to know how to deal with an angry spouse, then this short video may give you some ideas. Specifically, it covers a few techniques you can use when you find yourself in the uncomfortable position of having a spouse that yells at you.

How to Deal With an Angry Spouse (that yells)

Knowing how to deal with an angry spouse effectively means keeping some key things in mind when faced with this issue. Listed below are the main ideas that were addressed in this video.

5 TIPS FOR DEALING WITH AN ANGRY WIFE OR HUSBAND

1. Don’t defend yourself – proving you’re right just makes the other person even angrier. If you are right, there’s plenty of time to discuss it when everyone has calmed down.

2. Remain calm and reasonable – there’s no sense in both of you being angry. Plus, your calm energy will essentially calm your spouse down.

3. It’s a good idea to take a timeout if you’re afraid for your safety.

4. Listen for the presence of pain underneath your spouse’s anger – usually where there’s anger, there’s pain. So it’s important to really listen to your partner and let them know that you’re hearing them.

5. As you’re listening to them, calmly and sincerely ask them, “what can I do…?” When sincerely asked, this let’s your spouse know you’re hearing them and can lead to them calming down.

IS ANGER HURTING YOUR RELATIONSHIP? HERE’S A BOOK THAT MIGHT INTEREST YOU:

When Anger Hurts Your Relationship: 10 Simple Solutions for Couples Who Fight

Here’s what readers are saying:

…Everyone in a relationship needs to read it. May help cut down on divorces. – Agent469

…I have read many books on anger and for couples who have distorted anger, this one is the winner… – A. Bussierre

Click here to read the rest of the reviews on Amazon…

When Anger Hurts Your Relationship Book

 

How To Deal With An Angry Wife or Spouse

Dealing with an angry wife or spouse can be challenging if you’re not prepared in advance with how to respond. If you choose the wrong way to react, you could make matters worse.

See also: How to Deal With an Angry Spouse That Yells At You

So, if you’re dealing with an angry spouse, coworkers, friends, or employees, here are a few suggestions you can use so you’ll know…

What to Do (and Not to Do) When Someone Else is Angry.

Because anger is associated with aggression and violence, and because relatively few of us grew up with a healthy model of how to handle angry feelings, anger is scary for most Americans. It’s probably why so many people avoid conflict at any cost; Heaven forbid someone should get angry!

Yet anger is a human emotion like any other, and it belongs to the spectrum of emotions that may be experienced from day to day. So chances are that someone you know will get angry around you at least sometimes.

Here are some tips to help you understand and deal with their anger:

DO: Listen to an angry person’s account of why they are angry, even if you don’t agree about the facts. When someone is exhibiting anger, it’s not the best time to try to have a rational debate. Just concentrate on hearing them out.

Try to see the situation from their point of view, and let them know you understand. Feeling misunderstood and disagreed with at the same time will keep their anger in place. If you let them know that you can see where they’re coming from, you will go a long way toward helping them over their anger.

Remove yourself from the situation if you see the person is getting out of control. Your personal safety is more important than being polite. When in doubt, clear out!

There are also some DON’TS when dealing with someone who’s angry:

Don’t tell the person to calm down. Have you ever seen that work? It just makes them angrier, because it’s clear you’re not listening.

Don’t allow their anger to ignite yours. An angry person may say things that rile you in an effort to get you as angry as they are. Focus on understanding their feelings, not on what they say about you.

Don’t try to shame or ridicule them. It will only fan the flames of their anger (and justifiably so!).

Don’t attempt to engage them in a debate. They’re not in the mood and you’ll waste your time. Save the accuracy and the facts for a cool-headed discussion.

Do NOT take on an unnaturally soothing, calm tone. This does nothing to soothe or calm an angry person. It simply makes them more aware that you don’t understand them and are trying to manipulate them.

Anger doesn’t have to be scary, but trust your instincts and get away if you believe the angry person may get out of control. Remember, when in doubt, clear out!

For more information about this topic or its author, visit http://www.tinagilbertson.com

Is anger hurting your relationship? Here’s a book that might help:

When Anger Hurts Your Relationship: 10 Simple Solutions for Couples Who Fight

Here’s what readers are saying:

…Everyone in a relationship needs to read it. May help cut down on divorces. – Agent469

…I have read many books on anger and for couples who have distorted anger, this one is the winner… – A. Bussierre

Click here to read the rest of the reviews on Amazon…

When Anger Hurts Your Relationship Book

 

How To Avoid Making An Argument Worse Than It Is

Can you really avoid an argument? I mean really… sometimes arguing is something that can’t be avoided. We all have disagreements with others at some time or another, that’s what makes us different. We can’t always agree 100% of the time… but we can learn to control how we respond to someone when we disagree with them, so we don’t make matters worse.

Hold your tongue

A good skill to pick up would be learning how to control what comes out of your mouth in the heat of the moment. In other words, learn not to say things that you might later regret. Most of us have a hard time with that one thing.

Case in point, while we’re in the middle of an argument, we might say something that we know will hurt the other person, even if we don’t really mean it at the time.

Since walking out in the middle of an argument is not always an option, the best thing you could do is to do some damage control. In this case, try keeping your thoughts to yourself.

Yes, you’re angry, and yes, you’re probably feeling a lot of things like resentment, frustration, and the need to avenge yourself among other things, but this does not mean that you need to voice every thought, especially if they are not thoughts you would normally voice out loud.

If keeping your thoughts to yourself is too hard for you, and you feel the need to say what’s on your mind, then the next thing you might want to try is getting your thoughts together so that you’re more aware of what you’re doing and saying.

In other words, you’d want to stick to the topic, and keep as much of the angry words out of the conversation – this way you’re not as tempted to say anything hurtful.

As with anything that we don’t do on a regular basis, this anger management tip is easier said than done… but if you start practicing being more aware of what you say in the middle of an argument, you’ll have a better shot at not saying something you’ll regret later. Which in most cases, will keep the argument from becoming worse than it is.