Controlling Anger in a Relationship? Try These Tips.

Here’s an article that you may find useful if anger is causing issues in your relationship. It covers a few helpful ways to handle anger when you’re in the company of your partner or spouse.

Understanding How To Control Anger In A Relationship

Couples can get thrown off track if they don’t know how to control anger in a relationship. When you are in a relationship with someone, you can expect that nearly every emotion available to human beings will show up at one time or another.

You’ll enjoy periods of happiness, endure periods of sadness, tackle disappointment, frustration, suspicion, and enjoy as much excitement and attraction as you can possibly handle. There will also be anger. It’s impossible to really love someone and not feel angry by them or about them once in a while.

It’s a healthy and natural emotion and one that does not have to be negative or damaging to the life you’ve built together. As long as you can manage it together, you can move past your angry moments.

First, know yourself.

You know what makes you angry and you know how you respond to anger. Take a look at your track record. If you’ve had a problem managing anger in the past, you need to face that problem and do whatever you can to get it under control so that you don’t drag the issue into your relationship.

Think about the tools you’ve used successfully to manage your anger, and make sure you have them available for when your temper flares with your significant other.

Second, know your partner.

The longer you are with someone, the easier it is to understand what sets that person off and how he or she responds to emotional challenges.

If you have always been able to handle your own anger in healthy ways, but you have noticed that your husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend is unable to express anger in appropriate ways, you are going to have some work to do together.

Acknowledge that, and make sure your partner knows you are aware of the anger problems in your relationship, and prepared to work on them together.

Communication is an essential trait of any successful relationship, but it becomes even more important if anger is an issue. If one or both of you have a problem with anger management, communicating openly with each other is going to take on a new significance.

You will have to feel safe with one another and be able to trust each other with your own feelings, fears and frustrations.

Practice talking to one another about difficult subjects without getting angry. See just how far you can go before someone starts to feel like the anger could get out of control.

Everyone has a set of triggers that stimulates the anger response.

Through your experience with one another and your ability to communicate, you should know your own triggers and your partners. It might be impossible to avoid them altogether.

However, you can come up with a plan to manage them together. Avoiding them would be great, and if there are particular situations or people who trigger anger in one of you, try to stay away from them.

Always try to remember, denial will not help you. Face those triggers when you have to and work on getting through the emotional trauma in positive and healthy ways.

Know when to get help.

A good therapist can help you and your partner manage your anger and keep it from destroying your relationship. If you feel like you don’t have the tools to control your anger on your own, it’s a good idea to speak to someone who can help provide you the resources you need to succeed.

Anger management groups are also useful for many people, and you might benefit from going to these groups as a couple. You’ll find support from others and pick up additional tools that might work for you in keeping your relationship alive and healthy even in the face of anger.

One of the best times to talk about anger and address this issue is before you get married or when you decide to embark on a long term relationship with one another.

Such a commitment requires openness, trust and respect. Instead of pretending everything is fine and your emotional health is in check, face whatever anger issues might be plaguing one or both of you.

Your union has much to gain when you know how to control anger in a relationship.

Article written by Norman Holden editor and owner of a website about Controlling Anger In A Relationship. Visit his website on a regular basis for up-to-date news and help.

How to Get Your Angry Teen To Open Up To You

Do you have a teenage son or daughter that is very angry and you can’t seem to get through to them? If so, then it’s probably natural for you feel that your only option is to ship them off someplace.

But before making that decision, in this video, Josh Shipp of suggests you consider an alternative anger management technique if you’re the parent of an angry teen.

As a former angry teen himself, Josh points out that communication is the key to helping a teenager with anger issues. He explains that “what you don’t talk out, you act out.”

Josh says:

If you have problems inside of you and you don’t talk those out, you’re going to explode in anger.

So, how do you get your teen to open up to you when they’re angry?

Show them that you can relate to them. Josh explains:

Well, talk about some things that frustrated you. And talk about some things that were hard for you, and some of your mistakes. Some of the things that you’re not always so great at…

Cause I find that when you’re vulnerable with a teenager, when you sort of cough up a mistake, you cough up vulnerability, a weakness, then they in turn will feel more comfortable sharing that with you.

3 Ways to Deal With Angry People

The premise of this article is to cover, simple strategies for dealing with anger issues. In this case, how to deal with someone who has issues with anger.

We’ve all encountered them. Some of us more than others, but we’ve all had our dealings with them at one time or another. This person is your friend, father, mother, co-worker, someone you’re dating, your husband, wife, or even your kids. What do these people have in common? They could be someone you know who has problems with anger.

So, the question is, “What are some ways to deal with someone who has anger issues?”

Here are a few suggestions that may lead you in the right direction.

1. Address Issues From a Calm Perspective

Think about it a second – if you were angry, how would you react if someone you’re angry at, or arguing with, was shouting or responding to you in an angry way? Would that calm you down? Of course not, you’d probably get frustrated which would intensify your anger, and could lead you to say, or do, something you later regret.

One of the first things to keep in mind when dealing with an angry person is to relax and speak to them calmly. That way there’s a better chance they will calm down too, and respond without being so angry. Or at the very least, not feel like they’re being attacked.

With that said, here’s something else you may want to consider…

2. Realize They Make Their Own Choices

Odds are, you probably don’t like to be told what to do, or how to feel. Likewise, the person that’s angry doesn’t want to be told what to do either. In fact, telling an angry person to chill out, or calm down, sometimes gets the opposite result… it makes them angrier.

They might feel like you’re trying to boss them around, which may be the reason they’re angry in the first place. So, recognize they have a right to feel the way they do, and how they choose to react, whether you agree with them or not. But also, remember you have a choice on whether you want to stick around while they’re angry. Which brings us to the next strategy for dealing with someone with anger issues.

3. Leave The Room

Just because someone else has anger issues and doesn’t know how to control their reaction to anger, doesn’t mean you have to stick around to deal with it. If it’s safe, and appropriate for you to do so, leave the room until they calm down. This way you don’t give yourself a chance to get angry too. Then you both have time to clear your heads and can talk things out in a cool manner.

Although there are no guarantees that these anger management strategies will work for you and your specific situation, this should have given you a better idea of how to approach the issue of dealing with someone with anger problems, in a way that’s healthier for you and the other person.

Want to know what type of anger the person you think has an anger problem has? Check out the 12 types of anger, and see if any of them sound familiar, to you.