Here’s an article that you may find useful if anger is causing issues in your relationship. It covers a few helpful ways to handle anger when you’re in the company of your partner or spouse.
Understanding How To Control Anger In A Relationship
Couples can get thrown off track if they don’t know how to control anger in a relationship. When you are in a relationship with someone, you can expect that nearly every emotion available to human beings will show up at one time or another.
You’ll enjoy periods of happiness, endure periods of sadness, tackle disappointment, frustration, suspicion, and enjoy as much excitement and attraction as you can possibly handle. There will also be anger. It’s impossible to really love someone and not feel angry by them or about them once in a while.
It’s a healthy and natural emotion and one that does not have to be negative or damaging to the life you’ve built together. As long as you can manage it together, you can move past your angry moments.
First, know yourself.
You know what makes you angry and you know how you respond to anger. Take a look at your track record. If you’ve had a problem managing anger in the past, you need to face that problem and do whatever you can to get it under control so that you don’t drag the issue into your relationship.
Think about the tools you’ve used successfully to manage your anger, and make sure you have them available for when your temper flares with your significant other.
Second, know your partner.
The longer you are with someone, the easier it is to understand what sets that person off and how he or she responds to emotional challenges.
If you have always been able to handle your own anger in healthy ways, but you have noticed that your husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend is unable to express anger in appropriate ways, you are going to have some work to do together.
Acknowledge that, and make sure your partner knows you are aware of the anger problems in your relationship, and prepared to work on them together.
Communication is an essential trait of any successful relationship, but it becomes even more important if anger is an issue. If one or both of you have a problem with anger management, communicating openly with each other is going to take on a new significance.
You will have to feel safe with one another and be able to trust each other with your own feelings, fears and frustrations.
Practice talking to one another about difficult subjects without getting angry. See just how far you can go before someone starts to feel like the anger could get out of control.
Everyone has a set of triggers that stimulates the anger response.
Through your experience with one another and your ability to communicate, you should know your own triggers and your partners. It might be impossible to avoid them altogether.
However, you can come up with a plan to manage them together. Avoiding them would be great, and if there are particular situations or people who trigger anger in one of you, try to stay away from them.
Always try to remember, denial will not help you. Face those triggers when you have to and work on getting through the emotional trauma in positive and healthy ways.
Know when to get help.
A good therapist can help you and your partner manage your anger and keep it from destroying your relationship. If you feel like you don’t have the tools to control your anger on your own, it’s a good idea to speak to someone who can help provide you the resources you need to succeed.
Anger management groups are also useful for many people, and you might benefit from going to these groups as a couple. You’ll find support from others and pick up additional tools that might work for you in keeping your relationship alive and healthy even in the face of anger.
One of the best times to talk about anger and address this issue is before you get married or when you decide to embark on a long term relationship with one another.
Such a commitment requires openness, trust and respect. Instead of pretending everything is fine and your emotional health is in check, face whatever anger issues might be plaguing one or both of you.
Your union has much to gain when you know how to control anger in a relationship.
Article written by Norman Holden editor and owner of http://www.AngerManagementNow.com a website about Controlling Anger In A Relationship. Visit his website on a regular basis for up-to-date news and help.