How To Avoid Making An Argument Worse

Can you really avoid an argument? I mean really… sometimes arguing is something that can’t be avoided. We all have disagreements with others at some time or another, that’s what makes us different. We can’t always agree 100% of the time… but we can learn to control how we respond to someone when we disagree with them, so we don’t make matters worse.

Hold your tongue

A good skill to pick up would be learning how to control what comes out of your mouth in the heat of the moment. In other words, learn not to say things that you might later regret. Most of us have a hard time with that one thing.

Case in point, while we’re in the middle of an argument, we might say something that we know will hurt the other person, even if we don’t really mean it at the time.

Since walking out in the middle of an argument is not always an option, the best thing you could do is to do some damage control. In this case, try keeping your thoughts to yourself.

Yes, you’re angry, and yes, you’re probably feeling a lot of things like resentment, frustration, and the need to avenge yourself among other things, but this does not mean that you need to voice every thought, especially if they are not thoughts you would normally voice out loud.

If keeping your thoughts to yourself is too hard for you, and you feel the need to say what’s on your mind, then the next thing you might want to try is getting your thoughts together so that you’re more aware of what you’re doing and saying.

In other words, you’d want to stick to the topic, and keep as much of the angry words out of the conversation – this way you’re not as tempted to say anything hurtful.

As with anything that we don’t do on a regular basis, this anger management tip is easier said than done… but if you start practicing being more aware of what you say in the middle of an argument, you’ll have a better shot at not saying something you’ll regret later. Which in most cases, will keep the argument from becoming worse than it is.

Anger Management Classes in Chicago, Illinois

Here is a list of a few places that conduct anger management classes in Chicago, Illinois.

For more choices, you might want to check with local hospitals, mental health facilities, and the court system to see what else may be available in the area. They may be able to steer you in the right direction.

Another place that might be worth looking into, is the human resources department of any of your local corporations. They may be able to refer you to someone, too.

The Anger Clinic of the North Shore
5443 N. Campbell Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60625
Phone: (773) 907-8662

Counseling Services of Illinois
4515 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago, Illinois 60630
Phone: (773) 777-6767

Anger Management Education
1 East Delaware Place, Suite 310, Chicago, Illinois 60611
Phone: (312) 642-0265

If none of the listings above are near you and you’re having a hard time finding ANY anger management classes in the Chicago area, an easier option might be to take an online course.

You’ll get the same benefit of attending a court approved program in person, which includes getting a certificate of completion, but it will be at your own pace from the comfort of your home or office. Here’s more information about anger management classes online.

5 Tips for Handling Conflict in the Workplace or Anywhere Else

If you live long enough you will experience conflict. The chance that everyone will like us or get along with us is very minimal. Inevitably we will disagree with someone. When this happens, handling the conflict with a level head avoids stress and keeps the chance of the conflict escalating less likely.

Handling conflict does not have to be confrontational in the classic sense. When someone mentions an altercation we think of the showdown at the OK Corral. Coming into the meeting ready to fight is not the best way to handle a conflict.

Conflicts can occur at any time. You could be in a grocery store and the cashier may act rude as they ring up your groceries. We’ve all had that happen at least once, right? The first reaction is to slam the money on the counter or to snap back at them. In that instant we have taken their problems as our own and created a stressful situation that changes the tone of the rest of our day.

Here are five tips for handling conflict. They work for coworkers, family members, friends, and even strangers. You never know when the proper response to a conflict could save your life or someone else’s.

1. Think about the situation. We are quick to respond when someone says what we don’t like. Take the time to breathe before responding. In that breath replay the words spoken.

2. Make the hard decision. In many cases, the conflict that arises is not the first of its kind. Harsh or offensive words or deeds could be a recurring theme in the relationship.

Decide if this affiliation is worth saving or if it is time to cut the person loose. Leaving the association could result in a lost friendship, a divorce, or changing jobs. Sometimes, for our own sake, these things are better in the long run than staying in a bad relationship.

3. Wait a day. Don’t respond right then. Give yourself time to talk over the situation with a trusted friend. Maybe you overreacted.

Sometimes, a third party can see something that you missed in the heat of your anger. In these cases, apologize where necessary. If the consensus is that you were wronged, then bring the matter to the attention of the other person with a level head not a hot one.

4. Find a solution. A common conflict, especially among spouses could result from wanting to make a purchase that there isn’t enough money for. Instead of brooding, come up with favorable solutions that could get you what you want or need. Get a second job to earn the money.

5. Apologize if you were in the wrong. Just because something is true doesn’t mean that it has to be said.

Telling someone that they are wearing a dress that is too small for them is not a positive way to help them lose weight. Understand how it could be offensive to them and apologize.

Better yet, stop and think before you respond in situations such as these. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes before hand. Part of resolving conflicts is realizing our role in it.

Facing confrontational situations is not easy. But, it is not inevitable and sometimes it has to be done. Learning conflict resolution techniques can alleviate the stress of these situations.

Gregg Zban is a General Manager with Coca-Cola Enterprises and has created a website dedicated to better time management in business, with family, at school and more.

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